The Setup

To kick off the Cavalcade “Year of the Creature Feature”, we wanted to go in a direction that was both classic and contemporary. Seeing as how the Zombie flick has been making such a comeback in recent years, it seemed the natural choice. Besides, what’s a party without a little Cannibalism?

Zombies are a tragically misunderstood species. After all, they’re only hungry and trying to feed themselves, right? Unfortunately, the nutritionist’s food pyramid for zombies was too late to save the afflicted of the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s, but there’s hope for the new breed of zombie of the 21’st century. Which brings me to the age-old question, which zombie do you favor?

The “Romero” Zombie

(Night of the Living Dead series, Zombie, Plan 9 from Outer Space, and I Walked with a Zombie)

These are the traditional slow-moving decayed zombie that somehow manages to sneak up on even the most vigilant survivor, even though it shuffles along at a snail’s pace while constantly moaning, groaning, and crying for “braaaains”. Even though this breed of zombie was around long before George Romero made his landmark films, they traditionally carry his namesake. Kind of them, really.

In all of these cases, the Zombie is the reanimated corpse of a previously immobile dead person.

The “Modern” Zombie

(Dawn of the Dead remake, Return of the Living Dead, Resident Evil film series, 28 Days Later)

These zombies have a bit more “un” in their undead bodies. Able to talk, yell, howl, and coordinate attacks, they are much more efficient killers, especially given their most notable difference: They can run. That’s not all either. They can climb fences, jump over holes, and, in the case of Resident Evil, mutate into monsters.

While some of these zombies used to be relatively peace-loving dead bodies, what has started to become a common theme in several of these pictures is the biologically infected living human. While technically not a zombie, they still have a mad-craving for flesh and are incurable, so it’s still a good idea to handle them roughly the same way: a shotgun to the face. Fire’s always good too, but then you run the risk of a walking formerly-human torch. Not good for property values, and I’m fairly certain it’s not covered by homeowner’s insurance.

The Formula

Now, with the recent resurgence and reinvention of the zombie pic, there have been numerous variations to the old standbys of the genre. But the more they change, the more they stay the same. The setting is going to be post-apocalyptic and barren. Being flesh-eating ambulatory corpses, zombies aren’t really big on housekeeping,  as it gets in the way of their hobby. This also helps with the budget considerations that most of these movies are dealing with. Nothing says DOOM like empty streets filled with trash or a broken down old cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Next up, the ending. I’m not spoiling anything by saying they aren’t usually chipper. For some reason, grandmothers eating the brains of their little bubbies brings out the depressed side of a screenwriter’s personality, so everybody’s gotta die. Either through a self-inflicted-so-you-can’t-eat-my-face gun shot (or nuclear device), or the afore-mentioned face eating, don’t go hoping for your favorite protagonist to make it out alive. If they do, don’t count on them having all their body parts.

Finally: Gore. Buckets of Gore. We’re not talking about blood squirts and splatter here, though that’s in full effect as well. We’re talking about bone-protruding, flesh flying,  chunky monkey heaps gore. I’m sure somewhere somebody wrote a family movie with bone-knawing, brain-slurping, flesh-guzzling undead sacks of hunger, but I haven’t seen it. These are not movies one watches when one has the stomach flu, a hangover, or any sort of bowel disruption. Only Gorehounds need apply.

This seems to be the perfect time to segue into the menu for the evening!

The Menu

The Booze: Zombies, Rogue Ales’ Dead Guy Ale

Be careful with the Zombies, kids. They pack a strong kick. After a few of ‘em, you might be be the one stumbling around asking for brains.

The Snacks: Lady Fingers

The point of the menu is to make it easy to throw together for a gathering. But if you want to go all out, throw in some steak tartare. Nothing says flesh-eating zombie more than… well, eating the raw flesh of an animal. Hell, have some sushi too, while we’re at it.

The Movies

There’s a wide array of films to choose from, enough so that you could have a zombie meeting every day for a month and still not even come close to scratching the surface. So when we put together our list, we decided to stay away from the obvious choices of the Romero series. Since we weren’t entirely sure of the intestinal fortitude of our guests, We stayed away from the ultra-gory Italian pictures too. Your mileage may vary.

Our lineup:

Return of the Living Dead (1985): This marks the beginning other official “Living Dead” franchise. Very loosely based on the Return of the Living Dead novel by John Russo, the co-creator of Night of the Living Dead . More comical than its predecessor, this film features a wonderfully cheesy 80’s soundtrack and some nifty (if dated) effects. It’s perfect for this kind of gathering.

28 Days Later (2002): Danny O’Boyle’s take on the Zombie genre, with no “actual” zombies. Part of the new wave of zombie movies, this film features biologically infected humans who are coming down with a raging case of the flu. Or is that a serious case of Rage flu? Anyway, great cinematography and editing combine with nifty performances to make this one a crowd pleaser AND a quality flick. Don’t get used to it, we don’t do good movies often.

Braindead (1992): Before he got all famous with the Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson made a quirky little family comedy called Braindead (Dead Alive here in the U.S.). While this is a seriously gory picture, it’s also funny as hell. Besides, when a movie features a lawnmower wielding maniac, and he’s the hero, who are we to judge?

Suggested Alternatives

The Evil Dead I and II: Sam Raimi’s hyper-kinetic take on the “monsters in the woods”. Bit of a zombie picture mixed with ghosts, demons, and one horny tree. In the first one, they threw in everything but the kitchen sink. In the second one, they took the sink, the dishwasher, and the plumber, wrapped it in a blender and called the flashy remake a sequel. Both rank high in the realm of must-see.