The Setup

After the strong opening of the “Year of the Creature Feature” for the Cavalcade, we next moved on to another classic of the Monster movie genre. Though while recent years have seen a resurgence of the Zombie picture, with the dead lustily craving tasty morsels of gray matter in at least two or three pictures a year, the times have been far less kind to ye olde Lycanthrope. Aside from appearances in the underwhelming Underworld series, Skinwalkers, and Cursed, a film that lived up to its title in more ways than one, the howling whirlwind of shapeshifting death has been rather under represented in major horror cinema as of late, though that may change with the expected remake of The Wolf Man starring Benicio Del Toro slated for release next year.

The Werewolf is another misunderstood creature. Most see it as a raging beast of un-house-trained fuzzy fury, completely forgetting that for 27 days out of the month, it’s just another human being trying to get by in life, paying taxes, going to work, fighting off flea and tick infestations…

Which leads us to wonder what type of werewolf do you prefer?

The “Hollywolf”

(The Wolf Man, The Howling, Monster Squad, Silver Bullet, Cursed)

These beasties tend to walk on two legs and be very human-like in appearance, with the exception of being covered in fur. The earliest films were essentially actors with furry makeup appliances and teeth applied, where in later movies they got the full-on wolf head and canine legs.

The big-assed Dog

(An American Werewolf in London, Wolfen, Ginger Snaps)

Shapeshifters of the four-legged variety. These guys (and girls) tend to be little more than gigantic furballs with teeth. Exagerated features abound with larger snouts, bigger bodies, and gigantic freakin’ teeth. Big muscular arms that end with claws that half the size of their fangs, and did we mention the teeth? No matter how doggish in appearance these creatures are, we wouldn’t recommend trying to distract them with a game of fetch.

The Formula

When werewolf movies were in their prime along with all the other monster movies of the 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s, they had a fairly standard tale of a person surviving an attack by some wild creature only to find themselves now “living with the curse” of lycanthropy, doomed to stalk the night eating hapless people who should realize that in a full moon, that big dark drooling mass of snarling muscle running at them is probably not a cuddly kitten. Anyway, at the end of these tales the monster is killed by a silver bullet/cane/beer can, only to revert back to human form upon their death, to the shock and distress of loved ones and coworkers.

While many recent movies have had elements of this formula in place, they tend to monkey around with it more, going so far as to call Werewolves an evolutionary offshoot of man or a biological infection. In the age of Science, a good ol’ fashioned magic curse just doesn’t seem to cut it anymore.

Another feature of the Werewolf movie is that the monster of the film also is usually the protagonist. Even in movies where the primary werewolf in the feature is not the main character, said hero or heroine usually ends up noshed on and infected before the end of the tale. Rabies shots and raw meat are very important when dealing with lunar-challenged americans.

Being a creature that can be as psychologically complex or simple as is needed for the story, the werewolf has also featured as the “hench-monster” for other bad guys on occasion. Vampires are paired with werewolf pets the most, as in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, The Monster Squad, and the Vampire Hunter D series.

The Menu

The Booze: Lone Wolf, Wolfsbane, Full Moon beer (Blue Moon, if Full Moon is out of season)

Werewolf themed drinks are all OVER the web. There’s something about the idea of a wild animal in human form that encourages mixmasters the world over to experiment. As far as the beer, Full Moon is the winter seasonal of Blue Moon, but you can substitute if it’s out of season.

The Snacks: Moon Pies, Hush Puppies

Yet again raw-ish or rare meat is a good choice to supplement the Moon Pies, which by the way are mostly a southern brand of snack. But all a MoonPie is after all, is a pastry which consists of two round graham cracker cookies, with marshmallow filling in the center, dipped in chocolate. Those you can pick up just about anywhere. For authenticity’s sake, you can order the official brand from their website.

The Movies

An American Werewolf in London (1981): When John Landis, the director of The Blues Brothers and Animal House announced that his next movie was going to be a horror movie about werewolves, no one knew for sure what exactly to expect. What nobody expected was one of the best werewolf movies of all time that combined creepiness with comedy and has gone on to become a genre classic, with transformation sequences that still impress to this day. Dear lord, it’s another good movie!

The Howling (1981): With the release of this film, American Werewolf in London, and Wolfen, ‘81 was the year of the wolf, man (badum-bum!). While AAWIL was generally considered the best, and Wolfen the most cerebral (and boring), The Howling blew away contemporary audiences with impressive makeup effects, and went on to spawn 6(!) sequels. Directed by Joe Dante, who would later go on to direct the smash hit Gremlins, it too combined comedy with horror to success. Time hasn’t been too kind to it however, as the effects don’t stand up nearly as well, and at times..the film is downright silly. Does this make it perfect for the Cavalcade? We’ll see.

Underworld (2003): Before the tradition of the bridging movie being the first movie screened, Underworld served to link the werewolf theme to the next (we’ll let you guess). Marketed toward the more spandex-friendly comic-book geek, the movie is filled with slick visuals, but is just plain dumb in terms of plotting, acting, and just about everything else. But hey, these are the very qualities we LOOK for here, so maybe that will serve to its benefit. Still, it’s better than its follow-up: Underworld: Evolution.

Suggested Alternatives

We’re not saying that the films we chose for the Cavalcade were the absolute best choices for the night. As a matter of fact, there were other choices that we were more eager for, but couldn’t get in time for the screening. At the top of the list for us was Ginger Snaps (which also have the associated snack), which ties lycanthropy to the menstrul cycle (we’ll let you insert your own tasteless jokes here). And the next time a brit calls Americans barbaric, we recommend showing them Dog Soldiers. This is a kick-ass flick from the mother country, and more than a little gorific.