The Setup

While cruising into the 11th event in the “Year of the Creature Feature”, we had only one more chance to throw a theme into the mix before the “Greatest Hits” event occurs. Diving through the past themes, we searched for a subject as big as our previous features, but that we’d somehow missed. After diving through such themes as “Killer Mammals”, “Killer Fish”, and “Undead Mutant Cyborg Ninjas” (a woefully under-represented genre), we settled in on the classic stand-by of the Ghost picture. How we managed to make it this long without doing this one is a wonder. Talk about your staples of Cinema!

Crossing into every genre of film, Ghosts have made appearances in everything from the many derivations of A Christmas Carol to romantic comedies like the recent Ghost Town and family movies like Casper. One could easily spend a year doing events based on the many paths that spirited filmakers chose to feature ectoplasmic escapades. Seeing as how we’ve focused mostly on Sci-Fi and Horror movies for previous Creature Features, we decided to narrow our search parameters a bit and stay in that arena. In many respects horror movies with ghosts are much easier to pull off than other films in the genre, as much less logic is required. This is especially true in the case of the surge in remakes of Japanese ghost pictures, which tend to follow a dream-logic based on emotion rather than a coherent plot.  Sometimes it’s an unquiet spirit troubling the living, other times it’s a malevolent psychic force stirring up the souls of the dead to…uh…trouble the living. When you get down to it, they’re all about bothering us living folk. Jealousy, it’s a killer.

However, since we’re focusing on American Ghost pictures not based on Japanese or Hong Kong films (We really had to narrow our search if we were going to get anywhere), there were really only two kinds of story to worry about.

Haunted House

(The Haunting, House, The Amityville Horror, The Others, The Shining)

These films oft-times rely on creepy atmosphere and music more than effects to set their tone. Well, in the good ones that is. The bad ones go all out with fixtures and bits that come alive to chase people around. Spooky old mansions, remote hotels, or abandoned cruise ships (Ghost Ship)- the key here is that it’s the location that’s haunted. In most cases, if one could just get out, the ghosts would leave you in peace. Serves you right for being in their home in the first place. I mean, just sitting there, enjoying their not-so-afterlife, and you come stomping around with all your breathing and working organs-practically flaunting your being alive! How rude!

Haunted People

(Candyman, The Sixth Sense, The Gift)

These are about people who have somehow managed to attract the attention of the spirit world. Either through ritual, psychic ability, or the wrong kind of deoderant, they’ve now pierced the veil and ain’t diggin’ what they found. Sometimes it’s simply lost spirits trying to pass messages on to loved ones, other times they’re more angry…because someone tried to EAT THEIR FACE. All-in-all, it’s just not that pleasant an experience.

The Formula

With such a wide breadth in the types of Ghost stories told, there isn’t much in the way of a common formula other than the following:

• Spooky shenanigans: Things appearing in mirrors that shouldn’t be there. Objects moving on their own.
• Oblivious Disbeliever: The skeptic who refuses to believe that everything happening is the result of a supernatural influence. Right up until he gets a flying chair to the face, or otherwise decapitated.
• An Attempted Exorcism: At a certain point in the story, the protagonists will dowhat they think will make the ghost go away. It wont. Please see previous decapitation reference.
• Body Hopping: Frequently said ghostie will hop into a living host for a ride. Mostly to say “Boo”, or something equally useful.

The Menu

The Booze: Slimer Jello-Shots, Boo-berry Martini

We jump back to our happy little Jello shots once again, soaking our particular ectoplasmic goodness in Vodka and a little Rum! For those curious about the Boo Berry martini: Stoli blueberry, Stoli vanilla, Godiva white and a splash of cream should set you straight.

The Food: Marshmallows, Lime Green Jell-O, and Boo Berry Cereal.

Marshmallows and Jello fit the first movie of the night, Just make sure to Stay-Puff . Other potential choices could be cotton candy, or since you have the marshmallows: SMORES.

The Movies

Ghostbusters (1984): With a new game on the way and loose talk of a third film, we pull out one of the best blockbusters to come out of the 80’s.

Frightners (1996): Before Peter Jackson became obsessed with Hobbits, Rings, or Super-Sized Simians, he made a flick with Michael J. Fox that was little more than a beta test for his new special effects studio. The kicker is that it’s a whirlygig of fun, too!

Poltergeist (1982): It’s often argued who really directed this movie: Texas Chainsaw Masscre’s Tobe Hooper, or Steven Spielberg. Personally, I could care less, as the production troubles gave birth to a fantastically creepy-yet-funny pic. The franchise is surrounded by tragedy, see where it all began!

Suggested Alternatives

This month we went pretty big with the choices of movies, choosing really well-known, and in some cases, really big budget movies. To bring you back to a more B-movie kind of place, there’s always Sometimes They Come Back (1991). Based on the short story of the same name by Stephen King, the movie tells the story of a High School teacher bullied by his students….who just happen to be the ghosts of the kids who bullied him as a kid. While a creepy story, it made for an average tv-movie that spawned at least two direct-to-video sequels.

You could go really low budget with Crazy Eights , a film that is mentioned primarily because this author is friends with the ghost in the picture. Finally, most of the Japanese horror remakes are of the Ghost story variety. Good places to start would be The Grudge , Dark Water , and Pulse.