Categorized | Live Streams
X-treme Fighter (2004)
Posted on 23 June 2009
- Director: Art Camacho
- Starring:Don 'the Dragon' Wilson, Lorenzo Lamas, Cynthia Rothrock
- Release Date: May 31, 2005
Every Friday we’re going to scour the worst of the worst to watch on Netflix Streaming and live blog the event through our Twitter feed (@cavalcadeos).
As a working video game journalist, and someone who writes fairly often about movies, this author is more than a little familiar with the licensed video game phenomenon. There’s a fairly long-standing rule on both ends. Licensed games (with rare exceptions) are unrepentant suck-fests, and movies based on games are equally bad. Before anybody leaps to the defense of this title or another, we direct you to the House of the Dead and DOOM movies, as well as the E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial video game. These mountains of noxious filth are more than enough to counterbalance any limited amounts of joy one might receive from the recent surprises of X-Men Origins: Wolverine (a game that was 100-times better than the movie) and Ghostbusters: The Video Game or the first Mortal Kombat film. Indeed, they are like black holes of anguish from which no sense of joy can ever escape again.
It is with this knowledge that we gaze upon the film summary Netflix has for this Friday’s Live Stream choice with more than slight trepidation:
Gamers will rejoice over this fast-paced thriller that places a teenage rebel (Dan Mayid) in the heart of a high-tech contest. Somehow, he’s gotten stuck in virtual reality and faces one dangerous opponent: a computer virus. He needs someone to watch his back and help him get to safety, and he gets his wish when his father (Don Wilson) joins him in this alternate world — one where smarts are just as important as strength and teamwork trumps all.
So We have Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Lorenzo Lamas, and Cynthia Rothrock-that maven of martial arts mayhem from the direct-to-video ’90s all together in a flick that aspires to being a video game movie?
Yep, we’re definitely afraid now.
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12.52
Well, that ends the screening of X-Treme Fighter/Sci-Fighter. Not as weird as the others, but just kinda…yeah.
112.52
Don "The Dragon" Wilson is a world champion Kickboxer? REALLY? I have trouble with this.
12.51
Wait! The Credits are on!
12.50
Err..not to be rude, but why the movie be going on?
12.48
Wait. He's TEACHING bad hollywood fighting now?
12.45
Wait. How will the virus destroy our world if it's in a closed computer system? Oh, I'm sorry. Logic.
12.43
Yay! Sparkly pixie dust on all impacts! It's Tekken!
12.39
So the final boss is some steroid-case with spikes in his head?
12.36
You think the portal is over here? Behind the DOOR? gasp!
12.35
Wait, the super plan to escape is....run away? Not very action-heroic.
12.28
I love how they keep cutting back to gratuitous bikini women during the fight.
12.23
and we're back to afterschool special.
12.22
It can't be easy to kick like that in stretch leather pants....
12.20
Purple ninja?
12.20
You know, mind-numbingly-stupid story aside, the fighting is fairly quality from everybody except the leads.
12.19
Go through the tunnel he says...and points to an pass between rocks. Um...that's not a tunnel, dude.
12.15
"They call me...THE STREET FIGHTER, Jack"
12.14
Like a bad video game, this movie suffers from repetitive enemies.
12.12
MONKEYGILBERTNINJA is back!
12.10
"Two heads are better than one. Dragon-Twins ACTIVATE" followed by Elvis dancing. I'm kinda...yeah.
12.08
I can't help but think this movie would be sooo much better with Sonny Chiba in the lead.
12.06
Damn. Another Don Wilson fight. These people make Ninjas seriously uncool.
12.03
And they're trying to do wire-fu? Wow. Reeeeally baad wire-fu...With Fireballs.
12.02
MONKEY NINJA that sounds like Gilbert Godfried?
12.01
MONKEY NINJA!
12.01
Comparison: Will Shatner in classic Star Trek=Better Fighting Skills
12.00
Seriously, how did Don Wilson ever get to be a Martial Art's action hero-type-person? I forgot how horrible he really is.
11.59
Super-Science guy isn't all that Super-Science-y. Some genius HE is.
11.57
NINJA!
11.57
"his mind is trapped in the game...you have to go in there and fight all the fighters to rescue him" Yes. Direct quote.
11.55
The kid is a better fighter (screen-wise), than the star of the movie.
11.53
ahhhhh more afterschool special! I almost thought this was a cheesy martial arts flick for a second!
11.51
Wait, Mr. Smart scientist guy. You KNOW it's broken and dangerous, and your testing method is to USE it?
11.51
aaaand we're back to the afterschool special.
11.50
Seriously, I think they really wanted to make a franchise out of this. They KEEP on about how cool a name "Sci-Fighter" is.
11.49
Well it was until "The Dragon" got involved.
11.48
Ok. THIS fighting is better.
11.47
The Dragon as a shiny-silver-caped Super Hero!
11.46
But the flirty computer is doofycreepyweird.
11.46
Oh cool. The fighters in the "Sci-Fighter" are all real martial arts competitors...as listed in the credits.
11.45
Dude. Headbands. No.
11.44
And the super-sweet grand-daddy scientist took Military equipment home to give his grandson? Sure. Ok.
11.43
And an a poster for TAO FENG? Did anybody ACTUALLY play that crappy game?
11.43
Ok. Seriously. Badly acted sunday special aside, let's get to the badly acted asskicking!
11.41
The hot girlfriend got him concert tickets, and you wonder why he's disappointed in a new kung fu uniform?
11.39
Swoot! It's Jet Set radio on the Dreamcast in the background! Yay for breakdancing rollerbladers!
11.39
...With soft piano music and brooding teens saying things like "you don't understand!"-I'm touched, no, really.
11.37
And now we have time for The Dragon's afterschool special.
11.36
Another random thong....and Don "The Dragon" Wilson's son is gettin' drinky and sexed up in his dad's Hot Tub! Woot!
11.30
Well, old-scientist-dad-guy just used the "Sci-Fighter" tag, like, 7 times. So I guess this movie's gonna be called....X-Treme fighter!
11.30
...and random Capoeira-breakdancer-guy at pool party.
11.30
Ooh! Random Thong!
11.30
Why is that 12-year-old martial arts boy dancing with a sword...with a pink ribbon?
11.30
Uh oh, Don's dad is a "computer generated reality" specialist for the FBI. And nice... He's a dead man.
11.29
And Cynthia Rothrock is a lonely scientist??? Really?
11.29
I want a robot sparrow sidekick!
11.29
Lorenzo Lamas! He has a robotic bird sidekick??? And he's a martial Ar...no, what?
11.29
Oh dear. Don "The Dragon" Wilson is....emoting??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
11.29
First fight already in...35 seconds. Nice. Aaaaand it sucks. Keanu Reeves did a better job in the Matrix. C'MON!
11.29
With a cast with that many collective trophies, the fighting better be good.
11.28
The movie is listing it's credits over some cheesy metal. Each actor has listed the martial arts achievements under their name.
11.13
X-Treme fighter is also known as "Sci-Fighter". One sounds like a bad TV original, while the other sounds like an ill-conceived Mtn Dew ad.
This post was written by:
Micah P. - who has written 84 posts on Cavalcade of Schlock.
In between watching movies and writing about them, Micah also writes essays (for an eventual book) and IT documentation (for his employer). Outside of writing, he's a IT Specialist and an artist.
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