This week’s “Previously: on Dollhouse” is mostly scenes from Epitaph 1 with some splices here and there.

Then we jump to 2020, somewhere near the California – Nevada border. Some guy is Romero-zombie-walking around in a nice suit. A mob comes out of nowhere and takes him down, 28 Days Later-zombie style, and beats him to death.

Welcome to the future.

Meanwhile Zone (Zack Ward), Mag (Felicia Day), and Little Girl Echo/Caroline (Adair Tishler )-all introduced in the fore-mentioned Epitaph-are just meters away from all the shenanigans. Zone calls out “Butchers!” and it’s time to bounce.

They’ve been on the run for weeks, and are trying to find “Safe Haven,” something promised by an implanted personality in (again) Epitaph 1.

• ZONE: Look around ‘Tiny Messiah’. It’s over! Half the world’s been wiped!

There’s a lot of intriguing back story implied through new word usage here; people who have never been imprinted are “actuals” people who are imprinted homicidal maniacs are “butchers,” etc.

The trio makes their way to one of those warehouses where almost all the plot exposition in prime time television takes place. They chatter about what it might be like for Little Girl Echo to meet real Echo (Eliza Dushku).

• ZONE: You’re one of those magically-delicious super whores. I bet you look great!

Of course, we need some direction now that nobody’s at the location they’re suppose to be, so the trio is abushed and taken to Neuroplis-which is helpfully explained as being the “City of Minds”-for those of you paid ZERO attention in school. There they are brought to a holding pen, and Zone gets buttstocked in the gut. Some young emo-rocker in an H&M suit chastises the guards, reminding them to not bruise the merchandise.

Really? The world is ending and someone’s still trying to make a buck? I know this show detests Capitalism, but how heavy-handed can you get?

Zone freaks out because Safe Haven is apparently parked right next to the Death Star. That’s not me being cute, he actually says just that:

• ZONE: And you didn’t think to mention that Safe Haven was parked right next to the freakin’ Death Star?!

See?

Mr. Harding, who has been implanted in a corpulent corporate type, is living all the luxury the apocalypse can provide in one of the old offices of Rossum HQ. He is surrounded by priceless antiques and pricey hotties-doing his best Vladimir Harkonen impersonation (seriously people, check out Dune-the more you know!). It’s very much like Gary Oldman’s character in Book of Eli.

Emo-Suit brings in new bodies for Harding to peruse and most of them look like the dude you see in the “After” photo on those protein powders at GNC.  Apparently, Harding’s current body didn’t start out fat, he made it that way by eating all day while the world burned. One of the bodies is, in fact Helo (Tahmoh Penikett ). Harding flips out when Emo-Suit tells him he was just with “some girl.”

Emo-suit is all: “A couple dumb-shows never hurt anybody.” At which Helo smiles a smile that says “I’m going to thump you” and the edit actually cuts with a “thump.”

Back in the holding cell, Zone and Mag are freaking out. One of the guards comes in, and Echo-who had been concealed under burlap- springs into action and beats the hell out of everyone who is armed-and-therefore-evil. She grabs some guns and shoots Fat Harding. They attend to the prisoners while Helo wanders off to find Topher (Fran Kranz).

Topher, as it turns out, is doing the over-worked, under-sane scientist thing. Apparently every day he hasn’t solved their tech-problem, they kill someone in front of him-which would leave anyone a little crazy. He says he’s close to putting everything back to the way it was. In case you’re wondering, this is probably how the episode is going to end. The only reason I’m going to continue to watch is to the benefit of you, the reader/viewer.

You’re Welcome.

Jump to what is apparently safe haven, where everyone has been inoculated against half-assed science. Olivia Williams is growing strawberries and smiling, and it’s quite nice to see. She tells the lad to go show his mom, who is, in fact Sierra/Priya (Dichen Lachman ). It’s a real shame since we’re only 10 minutes into the show at this point: Paradise can’t last.

Right on cue, Echo and Helo show up with the plot hot on their heels. Topher’s in a bad way, but Zone and Mag are fine. So much so that Zone can still talk trash about Topher, much to the chagrin of Williams…

WILLIAMS: Topher Brink is a genius and you will keep a civil tongue in this house or we’ll put it in the stew.

The Rag-Tag Band of Misfits Who Will Save The World^TM discuss how they are going to just that. It involves building a pulse bomb (of course it does) that will reset everyone on the planet. The catch is that anybody with an imprint and wants to keep it has to be deep underground when it goes off and stay there for a year, while the techno-babble shockwave rocks the world Star Trek-style. Oh-and all the tech they need is back at the L.A. Dollhouse home office (of course it is). Zone ain’t happy about this.

ZONE: We just came from that party. It was on fire!

And then

HELO: World still needs heroes, kid.

ECHO: Did you really just say that?

HELO: I was just trying to be inspirational.

ECHO: You are so corny. . .

HELO: Well. . you’re. . . fat. . .

Awwwww, they’re so cute!

Zone tries to say this is a no-go, but the perimeter alarm-which every post-apocalyptic safe house should have-goes off. A semi-rolls up with some extras from Mad Max spilling out speaking some funky cross between Portugese, Russian, and Aramaic. Then Victor/Ciccoli (Enver Gjokaj ) emerges with techno-face implants, uses some sort of hand-held doodad to switch over to English and tell Echo he got her message and where are these asses that need a’kicking?

There’s a brief argument that sets up Ciccoli’s faction as embracing the tech and using it to fight, while Echo’s has abandoned it. Ciccoli even roughs up one of his people for showing T-the little boy who is clearly Ciccoli’s son-his crew’s “mods.” But hey, if England and America can agree Hitler’s Germany was pure evil, the Tech-Heads and the Luddites can get a long. Off they go!

On the way there’s a great scene where Zone talks with the Asian Tech-Head. In order to know or do something, apparently the Tech-Heads have to load it, but when they do they have to take something out. When the Asian Tech-Head wants to load “weapons expert” from a thumb drive around her neck, she dumps “Mercy” onto another thumb drive make room for it. She explains all this with an adorable little chuckle.

As an aside: that idea would have made a great show in and of itself.

There’s more dialogue filling in the blanks between the last episode we saw, the flashbacks from Epitaph 1, and the current events of Epitaph 2. But if you haven’t been following, it’s all just confusing filler. Helo and Echo have a conversation that’s sub-textually about how they only ever have sex when Echo is sure they’re going to die, and well-that’s a bad relationship, Armageddon not withstanding.

The Rag-Tag Band arrives at their destination, and it’s crawling with Butchers. They make with the bullets to the soundtrack of some fusion of heavy metal and violin that sounds very much like the opening of Angel. Mag gets shot, and Helo stops to help her-but gets shot in the head and drops like a rock.

Helo.

Shot.

In the head.

Alrighty then, all bets are off! The team gets into the Dollhouse Puzzle Palace Head Quarters Nerve Center^TM, only to find a bunch of wiped dolls running around. Oh, and Alpha (Alan Tudyk ).

Echo and Alpha snuggle, because Alpha is either not crazy anymore or in a world-gone-mad, a homicidal looney is an asset. Turns out Alpha is a piece with his million brains now and all the better for it. He even asks where Big Bad Ballard is, and gets the lowdown.

Topher, Williams and Echo are trying to find the super-world-saving tech when the Tech-Heads throw down and decide they like the world the way it is, since they are the toughest in it. Victor is displeased with this and so is Alpha, so they all have a little talk about it. Leading one of the Tech Heads to essentially call the Übermensch a caveman.

• ALPHA: (laughing) Did he just call *me* a luddite?

To which he promptly begins the ass-kickery.

After the baddies are dispatched, Topher gleefully says “It’s bedtiiiiime!” And runs of to his sleeping coffin, which is surrounded by crap and such of all sizes.  Williams remarks that she’s surprised to find it all intact. Turns out, Alpha found it that way and left it.

ALPHA: It spoke to the schitzophrenic in me. Well, both of them actually.

Priya passes time by smashing thumb-drives with personality programs on them while ranting about what a jerk Victor is. Echo starts a Priya intervention, saying that Victor is clearly in love with her, and promptly has a really great freak-out that has nothing to do with those two wacky lovebirds:

ECHO: You have years together! And what you should do is waste it! Never tell him that you love him!

She collapses to the floor sobbing, and all props to Duskhu: she sells the moment with a power-train warranty.

Jump to Topher finishing up the device, which has to be set off manually (of course). Williams figures out what this means right away: Topher isn’t coming back.

TOPHER: I didn’t want to cause anymore pain.

There’s more touching moments like this throughout.

TOPHER: I’ll fix what we did to their heads. You fix what we did to the rest of the world. Your job is waaaay harder.

And. . . .

• MAG: Take care of her, Zone. Try not to have any influence on her of any kind.

Topher goes up stairs to Williams office, sets the bomb to go off, and sees the wall of photographs that is almost obligatory in fictional disasters since 9/11 (See 28 Days Later, Battlestar Galactica), and the thing goes off, killing him and saving the world.

Echo loads up Helo into her brain, and they talk.

HELO: Are you sure? I’ve got a lot of baggage. Childhood stuff.

ECHO: We’ve got time.

She lays down in her sleeping coffin and we roll the closing credits for the final time.

SUMMARY

• This feels the like final episode of a much better show.
• That being said, HELL of a show. Trimmed out the crappy acting, the plot was rather tight, but if you haven’t been watching the series-you were lost.
• I think and entire T.V. show based on the day after the apocalypse would … oh wait. Jericho. Nevermind.
• There are certain tools I’ve begun to notice a Whedon show’s writers will reach for over and over. Hot girls beating the hell out of people, hot girls beating the hell out of rapists (that one never gets old, though), men who adore damaged and/or compromised women (within the context of their own moral code, mind you), and women having relationships with dead guys.

This week we jump right back into that flashback meeting that ended last episode. Harry J. Lennix explains that Rossum has its hands in everyone’s pie. The company is so vast and far reaching it seems impossible to fight. He goes onto to tell Caroline, before she was Echo, that it’s either Dollhouse or the full force of the PATRIOT Act.

Caroline concedes.

Back in the edge-of-dystopia present Victor/Ciccoli and Sierra/Priya return to the Dollhouse after their “last wild night out” at a cheap hotel before the L.A. Dollhouse Rebels were besieged by the Rossum Empire. Naturally, they find bullets in everything and spare weapons just lying around, so they take a look around.

VICTOR/CICOLLI: Looks like the war started without us.

We jump to Helo stomping on his iPhone in frustration. Apparently there’s no app for what they’re doing. He reports to Olivia Williams that the phones are dead, and they are now invisible to Rossum’s tracking. He then has a tender moment with November, who never really got away from being a doll, which is kind of sad. Then they see a vehicle pull up into the parking garage rooftop where they’ve cleverly hidden themselves…from everything except spy satellites and helicopters.

Also, Olivia Williams spitting “Look lively,” and grabbing an M-4 is just great.

It turns out to be Lennix, Topher and Echo-who is having a River Tam Mania moment. Helo thinks it’s time to reevaluate, but Lennix says it’s time to take the fight to Rossum Corporate Headquarters. Topher says Lennix has been shot, and he’s all “I’ve been shot before” nonchalant because that’s the way we like it!

Helo says it won’t work, but Williams-ever the tactician (when dramatically appropriate)-blows off the whole sneak attack thing and says getting in is simple: Rossum wants Echo, they’ll give them Echo.

Back at the Doll House Puzzle Palace Headquarters^TM, Ciccoli, and Priya have found the imprint chair with a post-it note that says “play me”. They debate what they should do, as they swore they won’t bother with this brain-tech crap anymore. Ciccoli gets his way, and volunteers to be imprinted. However, he says that if he comes out evil, Priya should critically wound him… but stay away from his junk, please.

It turns out the imprint in the machine is Topher, but this Topher has no idea what’s happened this season, or really what’s going on at all. How does that help?

Jump to Rossum Headquarters where the Scooby gang, with their warped answer to Daphne, is walking right in the front door-just as Williams said they would.

Doc Whiskey shows up, now imprinted with Clyde Randolph (evil scientist co-founder of evil corporation), and dressed like K.D. Lang.

RANDOLPH: This world is for people who can evolve.

WILLIAMS: Does that include us?

RANDOLPH: Isn’t that what you’re here to find out?

Back at the Dollhouse, Ciccoli/Topher is freaking out because he doesn’t know if he’s dead. Priya assures him he’s probably not, then she fills him on everything he’s missed. They determine Lennix drugged Echo, obviously to keep whatever-his-extremely-convoluted-but-dramatically-interesting-plan-is, a secret.

Williams chats with Clyde/Scars over a Scotch in Clyde’s office, while Lennix pretends to hack his way out the cell where he and the Scooby gang are being kept.

Back at the Dollhouse, Priya tells Cicolli/Topher it’s time to stop sitting around figuring things out, and start kicking ass.

CICOLLI/TOPHER: That is so Ripley!

They then decide to imprint the pair of them with 50 years of being Jason Bourne, or something.

Back in Arizona, Topher proves that he is way sharper than anyone (especially me) gives him credit for, by telling Lennix that Echo’s acting a lot like Priya when she was on those anti-psychotic drugs.

Ciccoli and Priya load up on Mad Skillz, demonstrate them on some conveniently appearing goons, and move out.

Echo, who is dressed like Indiana Jones by way of Cosmopolitan, is still shuddering with seizure, suddenly snaps awake and growls, “Boyd.”

It is-in all likelihood-On Like Donkey Kong.

Commercial Break.

Lennix leads Topher to lab where they’re building the remote wiper deedle, and after he freaks out about it, Lennix says that with it they can get in and get out without hurting anyone.

Helo and November, on the other hand, hurt the hell out of some mook and get some guns. They have nice talk about identity and Paul admits he’s now comfortable with his doll-hood and he didn’t want to die without November. Awwww.

Topher fixes the doo-dad and right before Lennix reveals himself to be “The Man Behind the Curtain”, Echo Drop kicks him-WWE style-and then starts beating the Shakespeare right out of him. This isn’t really a fight, because Lennix is totally outmatched. However, Clyde Scars shows up all full of weapons training, and holds the the good guys at bay with John Woo-Fu. This leaves Lennix to monologue his master plan, and explain that they are all his family, because. . . why, exactly?

LENNIX:  You’ve proven yourselves in so many ways. I-I wanted you all with me…Except for Paul [Helo]. There’s always one relative you can live without. And frankly, I never understood what you saw in him.

You know what? All of a sudden Lennix is just this kooky person who doesn’t seem like he could actually do everything he’s supposed to have done.

Helo, on the other hand, wants to shoot his way through Rossum HQ, and you can’t really blame him. November suggests they just unplug the cooling system and fry the servers that are the backbone of the corporation. Oh, yeah, that too. Helo is looking kinda dumb, but agrees.

Lennix tells everyone that he has pushed everyone to such a point to make them tougher. And also he’s crazy. He’s going to use Echo’s cerebral spinal fluid to make a vaccine against imprinting, because she is Anakin Skywalker, unique with a higher midi-chlorian count than anyone else. Although how a vaccine against bad science would actually work is beyond me.

Lennix puts her out with The Scrambler ($29.99 Rossum’s Fall Catalog)

Helo and November wander into the server room. November’s SMG dangling lazily from one hand. Helo holds the damned thing correctly, but he still points the barrel at November more than once, and once is already too many. They smash some control box and wait for the mooks. Helo then sets her up with her SMG (and thank god it’s an MP5, those things are like cheating) .

Lennix plays the Manchurian Doll soundbite over the loudspeaker, and November tries to kill Helo! Oh noes! But she then overcomes the program just long enough to kill herself. Love conquers all, but only bullets can really stop brainwashing.

We jump to Echo being assured by Lennix that it’ll all be okay, and that having her spinal fluid drained won’t kill her. I mean, I guess not in and of itself, but isn’t that like running an engine with no oil? Lennix leaves and Ciccoli and Priya show up, get Echo out of the Count Rougan machine and they roll out to where Williams and Topher are being held.

The Dynamic Duo interrupts their pity party to rescue the pair.

Echo fights Doc Scars, and it’s a little brutal, while Lennix pulls one last ruse on Helo. Of course Echo wins, but gets sucker punched by Lennix, leading to another showdown between the two. But Topher shows up and just wipes Lennix using the new apocalypse tech. This was…pretty anti-climatic, actually. They then load  Len-Doll up with explosives, and destroy Rossum’s technology. An awful way to end it for the character.

One thing: They set off numerous high-yield explosives that blew up several floors of an office building, but there’s NO external damage to the building? After all’s said and done, Helo and Echo/Caroline have a moment…

HELO: So did we save the world?

ECHO: I guess we did.

Jump ahead 10 years, the world has still gone to hell, but at least this time Helo has a trenchcoat and an M249.

Roll credits!

SUMMARY

• This episode was just a mess. It reminded me of Highlander: Endgame. There’s one scene where you realize that they ran out of money AND stopped caring.
• Having Harry J. Lennix actually be evil was just heartbreaking. Plus, the way they did it was a little insulting. On one level, it explains everything, but on another level it’s like finding out Spider-Man runs a dog-fighting ring on the side.  That and it also appeared like he was suddenly an incompetent kook, like Hannibal Lecter how was really scary until he pulled out that slide-whistle.
• I’m going a little “Queer Eye” here, but why would you put Amy Acker in slacks that are tight around the ass and thighs? I know it’s fan service-but that’s outside the context of the show, where it’s a man using that body. I don’t think Clyde would have gone with that style just because he was in a chick’s body. That’s just me.
• By the way, L.A. Dollhouse Rebels? Great name for a band. . .

The episode opens with a blast from the past, as a pre-Echo Caroline (Eliza Dushku), seducing a well dressed idiot.

I’m sensing a pattern.

The well dressed idiot falls for the aggressively-strip-you-then-hand-cuff-you-to-a-sconce lamp-trick and Echo starts rifling through a desk in what’s apparently Olivia Williams’ office.

The Idiot is scared to death, and Echo says she’s not a thief, she’s a terrorist. Oh, good, well that’s alright then. Echo gets an idea of Barret (Summer Glau) and we jump back to the present, where the Scooby-gang is planning to somehow save the world from Remote Imprinting.

They decide the best way to do this is to upload Caroline back into Echo and see what happens. Sure, why not? Only Caroline’s imprint is missing. Dun-dun-DUUUUUN!

Back in the past, Bennet is wandering around the campus of Tucson Institute of Technology (T.I.T.- Very subtle).  She tries to find a seat, asks a pair of Jersey Shore rejects to clear out as they’re done eating and makes it clear she is abrasive and socially inept, because all smart people are like that.

Caroline pretends like she’s going to vomit on the Jersey Shore Girls, and they flee in terror. Then, she asks Bennet to sit down.

It appears as though Echo pre-Dollhouse life was also devoted to bringing down the Dollhouse. It makes her actually being a doll very tragic, and her imprinting potentially turning her into the ultimate tool of Dollhouse’s destruction kind of neat.

Thinking about it, her playing the vapid idiot on all those home movies may have just been building a cover. Williams tells Echo, as they both watch one of those home movies, that Caroline was an idealist, the sort that leaves a trail of unhappiness and dead bodies. So. . . a terrorist.

Meanwhile Topher has a totally sweet plan for once. Remote imprint who ever is in the chair at the D.C. Dollhouse, they pin Bennet to wall, and then allow Helo and Ciccoli/Victor into the building. Nice. They get her back to L.A. Dollhouse, where Bennet proves she’s a terrible person by saying L.A. keeps their dolls like free range chickens, while D.C. keeps theirs like veal. Wow.

• BENNET: You used the company jet to abduct the programmer of a rival House?
• WILLIAMS: I’m certain I’ll be kicking myself come holiday bonus time.
• BENNET: I’m sure you’ll be dead by then.

They come to Topher’s office, and he manages to calm Bennet down enough (she being a bit livid about him clocking her last time they met) to get her help rebuilding the hard drive containing Caroline. Then he goes on and tries to flirt with her, and it’s rather like watching a hard-core World of Warcraft player holla at da club.

Bennet derails it all by directly asking who is on the disk. Of course Echo chooses exactly that moment to look into the lab pensively. Bennet, schooled in dramatic script contrivances, figures out that it’s for her hated enemy, and as she glares at Echo, we get another flashback.

Caroline is dying Bennet’s hair in preparation for her new job, which sounds like it’s going to be the whole pre-doctorate rat-brain cutting gig that so many neuroscience majors do before they move onto human brains. They chit-chat in a way that seems a little like flirting, and then we jump back to the present. Specifically, Harry J. Lennix’s swank place.

Where he’s been shacking up with Doc Whiskey this whole time. Harry J., you sly dog!

In the Doc’s office, Topher is looking for something to staunch the bleeding of his upper lip.

TOPHER: Actually, if anyone asks, don’t say I got beat up by a one-armed girl.

Echo pops in and gets him to admit what we’ve suspected since they imprinted Helo, that he wiped out their love connection in Helo’s brain. So now he’s far less easy to manipulate, I guess.

Doc Whiskey shows up, throws on her mandarin collared lab coat pretty-as-you-please like nothing happened and tells Topher to sit. Williams rolls by just makes like it’s all normal anyway.

Then we flash back to Mr. Dominic telling Williams that he tortured The Idiot until he confessed, and they know that Caroline is rooming with Bennet.  In Arizona, Bennet asks Caroline why she has her file from Rossum. Bennet is actually more hurt that Caroline didn’t ask her to come in on her little terrorist plot than angry about being used.

Back in the present, Lennix and Echo have a heart to heart on par with that of a father and daughter. It’s really quite touching, and it’s the first time they’ve interacted this season, really. Lennix says he’s got to put the place on lockdown, so Echo dashes out to give Ciccoli/Victor and Sierra/Priya some time for a Pre-War Horizontal Mambo. Hey, about to go to war? Get laid. Solid thinking. She’ll make a hell of an officer one day.

Just then, Mr. Dominic stumbles down the stairs in the customary attic latex fetish-wear, and warns Echo that Rossum is on to her.

TOPHER: Am I the only one thinking we’re getting maybe a little too much of our intel from The Matrix or possibly Tron given the outfits?

Williams gives the order to evacuate, and says they’re going to Tucson, Az: Rossum Headquarters.

Cut back to the past, where Bennet and Caroline have infiltrated Rossum and are ready mess things up. The plan goes to hell because Caroline doesn’t do what she’s supposed to do, which is stick to the plan. She finds people in there, hooked up to machines in a terrifying nightmare room like the Nazi’s might have had. The screen goes white, and we assume Bennet ends up pinned under concrete.

Present time: Mr. Dominic is in a bad way. He needs medical attention, which they don’t have the staff for. Williams says put him back in the attic, as it’s his best hope for survival.

• DOMINIC: You bitch. I’d rather die.
• WILLIAMS: Well, I’d rather you didn’t.

Williams then finds some Grand High Pooba of Rossum in her office. They talk a little before Lennix kills him and his hired goons, while taking a bullet himself. Williams decides she will tell the guy, who was probably in several different bodies anyway, that one of him is dead. She tells Lennix to roll out to draw their fire, but Doc Whiskey is staying.

I must say it’s refreshing to hear all this war terminology in reference to a true warlike situation.

Echo tells Bennet to fix the Caroline imprint and promises to let Bennet do whatever she wants to Caroline once they have what they need from her. That convinces her well enough, and she’s on the case with Topher.

Lennix is about to run, but before he does he shares a tender moment with Whiskey that would not have been broadcast in the 50’s. For those paying attention, this scene was one of the flashbacks in Epitaph One . Meanwhile, Topher and Bennet are getting distracted from their project by each others lips.

TOPHER: You know I always had a crush on you, even when I thought you were a dude.

While Topher is grabbing something off screen, Doc Whiskey shows up and tells Bennet she’s amazing, that she must something special because Topher loves her and she didn’t think that Topher could love anything. They exchange a tender moment, then Doc shoots Bennet in the head.

SWEETJESUSBATS**TMONKEYBULLETS! SHE JUST SHOT BENNET!

End act II.

Topher’s in shock, and Williams gets to get back on reassembling Caroline. Ivy, Topher’s assistant, shows up and tries to help. Topher tells her to run away from the Dollhouse and never look back. He tells her not to become him. It’s also rather touching, even if it’s born out of self loathing.

Moments later, some mooks rope in from up stairs. You know their serious because they have green laser pointers. Apparently the old red ones are for amateurs.

• TOPHER: You should go, server rooms. Service tunnels.
• WILLIAMS: Don’t be ridiculous.
• TOPHER: You’re our general. We can’t loose you!

Williams rolls, and just as Topher loads Dushku into the chair, one of the Rossum Rent-A-Mercs comes in, which leads to the following.

TOPHER: I’ve imprinted myself with many useful skills, you don’t even want to know ::BUTTSTOCKED:: ::THUD::

Then Lennix appears and breaks the merc’s neck just as he’s about to pump two into Echo, because that’s his daughter in that chair!

The big reveal of this episode is Clyde was never betrayed, technically. He multiplied himself and one of the copies betrayed the original. However, Clyde’s partner? Harry J. Goddamned-Lennix, that’s who! He is clearly the one who got to Whiskey. Apparently, recovering Caroline is not part of his plan, so he killed Bennet?

What’s going onnnnnnn?!

Roll credits!

SUMMARY:

• Anyone else notice how much Whedon raises the stakes on his girls-who-beat-up boys characters? First it’s a high school student, then it’s a schizophrenic, then it was Echo, and now it’s a one-armed girl.
• While Rossum may be completely crazily evil, I feel no sympathy for Caroline any longer once she decided to blow up a building. How many members of that staff were just trying feed their families? I mean, sure there were white collar types who probably knew s**t was wrong, but what about the paper-workers down accounting? The janitorial staff? Seriously, f**k you Caroline Farrell. Great characterization, though.
• Dude. It’s like Oz or something now. We don’t know who’s going to die next.
• I want to say this show is tightly plotted, but. . . something’s missing.
• I’m not real clear on how the other Dollhouses work. How are they actually rivals if all the money goes to the same place?

The Attic is a creepy place.

Echo (Eliza Dushku) is shrink-wrapped and an Evil Dr. Beverly Crusher sticks needles into her skull without drilling first, so those must really damned sharp. Echo then convulses for a second and is “Disengaged,” which I think means brain-dead.

Evil Crusher and an assistant arrive to, “tsk-tsk what a shame it is, we thought she’d be around awhile, blah-blah,” and of course-Echo Re-engages and makes with the ass-kicking. She chokes out Creepy Wesley, pulls the needles out of her own skull, and stabs Evil Crusher with them.

Ever notice how we never see anyone go anywhere in this show? They always cut to “out in a hallway of similar design as the vaguely imagined room we just left.” Out in this particular hallway, Echo puts a half nelson on an Attic worker and asks where Victor/Ciccoli and Sierra/Priya are. He tells her they don’t use active codes in the Attic, they use their real names. Echo smashes him into the floor and sneers “my real name’s Echo.”  In the place where they put them in a meat locker, of course they use the real names.

Echo gets the lovers Ciccoli and Priya out of their respective goo-trays, and they get ready to roll out. Three goons show up and Echo makes short work of them with a little back up from Ciccoli. They grab the goons’ sub-machine guns (Oh happy day, everybody’s learning to grab the gun!) and put a couple of rounds in each of them.

Ciccoli keeps his weapon and they move on to some intense drum-heavy music until they get separated by some mysterious invisible barrier-with the lovers one side, and Echo on the other. Ciccoli attempts to shoot through it, and it behaves like a force field. Two guards roll up behind the pair and dump a clip into each, while Echo’s screams…well, echo.

Now we know this is a dream, because this is network T.V.

Evil Crusher shows up again, looking over Echo sleeping in her nightmare world, and gives her little “welcome to the attic” speech again.

No opening credits this week.

Topher (Fran Kranz) is fretting at Helo’s (Tahmoh Penikett) bedside-as Olivia Williams looks on,  large and in-charge now that Echo is in the clink.

TOPHER: I’ve tried Homotopic and hetertopic stimulation.

WILLIAMS: Haven’t we all?

Topher informs her that he may have figured out a way to circumvent the Helo’s brain damage, but it’ll require installing the active architecture. He can then map his original scan over the empty dead space…or something. Williams tells to go ahead with the install, but no need for the reboot, adding that the House is in the market for a strapping new Victor. Topher shakes his head at her cartoonish villainy and heads to his office, where Harry J. Lennix is sleeping on the couch. They chit-chat a little before Lennix gets down to brass-tacks: What do we know about the attic?

Topher says that in the attic the brain is kept in a constant fear state, and the brain is pushed to it’s very limits. What’s the point of that exactly?

Echo is living that same dream sequence from the opening again, except she’s getting wise. She watches the guards ventilate Ciccoli and Priya again, and shrugs it off, exiting the dream Attic calmly as she finds herself on the set of Legend, plastic snow and all.

Meanwhile, Topher is looking at Helo’s brain and trying to do what Williams told him to. He and his assistant (Ivy) jargon back and forth about what to do.

TOPHER: It’s like his brain is a football team, and I’ve this whole new set of brilliant plays, but it doesn’t matter because the quarterback’s in jail for dogfighting.

Ivy makes a crack about how it’s not like his brain can run the Wildcat formation . Those of you who know your football and your neuroscience figure out three seconds before Topher does that his assistant just had a brilliant idea (those of you who know your college ball now realize Ivy is probably from Kansas). Topher gets excited but is interrupted by a phone call: Williams wants to see Ivy. He tells her not to worry, because Darth Vader only ever kills officers.

Cut to Echo’s Dreamscape, where she’s watching the serial killer’s croquet game from earlier in the season, some old folks watching TV, and little girl petting a dead horse, all filmed in glorious Creepy-Vision. This is where the recap will get a little weird:

Echo is a 12-year-old girl, sees Dr. Whiskey through some glass, and is back to Dushku again. But when Whiskey turns around, her face is missing. Echo jumps back into her spirit animal, who turns out to be Lennix. Thank God! No, wait he’s evil too! Telling Echo she has no friends, he’s replaced by some gay-porn-looking-dude who says he’s going to find something to stuff in her mouth. Then she’s in and elevator with White-Eye Ghost-Helo.

Then a guy in a black body stocking shows up and punches Echo really hard.

After all that wackiness, Mr. Dominic (Reed Diamond) shows up and, after Echo beats him like he’s full of candy, he tells her it’s the shadow man she should worry about. They scare the shadow off and argue about whose dream they’re in-both believing the other to be their nightmare. He calls the shadow “Arcane”, and I call it a little sillier now that I know he calls it that.

Eventually they figure out that he somehow ended up in her head, which means that they can probably figure a way out and find the others in their respective nightmare worlds, the exit of course being having to face your worst fear. Wandering into Evil Topher’s lab-where he’s mashing brains into a hot-and-sour soup-Echo sits in the mind-wipe chair and disappears, while Dominic looks on, irritated that she went without a plan.

Echo finds herself in a nice Japanese tea house with biwa music playing. The dude across from her offers polite greetings, and Echo is all confused.

Back in the real world, Topher is trying to fix Helo, and Ivy wants nothing to do with him anymore.  Topher goes into Dewitt’s office and asks what’s up, and Dewitt tells him she just told Ivy she might have to replace him. Now, Ivy was all like “Don’t touch me, creep,” to Topher, so we know there was more-and so does he. So Williams let’s him know that she knows that he hacked up Priya’s big-bad-serial-raping-douchebag, intimating that’s what she told Ivy, too. Williams then warns him that surely Rossum’s onto him as well.

Cut to the Dreamworld, where Echo is still confused by the polite Japanese man. Elswhere in the brainscape, Priya and Ciccoli are getting it on, while we wait for it to get creepy, which it does right quick when-When Ciccoli turns into The Nefarious (serial-raping) Dr. Nolan…as a zombie! Meanwhile, the real Ciccoli relives Afghanistan, only with the added twist that he’s fighting himself.

Back in the tea house, Echo discovers that the Japanese guy she was talking to discovered weaknesses in Rossum’s mainframe, which is why he sent to the Attic. Someone screams, and Echo decides it’s time to book. She notices the man has no legs as she leaves, and when she finds her way into the kitchen, she sees that all the cuisine he has been eating is in fact cut from a pair of legs, probably his.

Ew.

Dominic shows up again, scaring the crap out of her. Arcane slits the Japanese guys throat, and before he dies he complains that the meat won’t be fresh. Ewwww. His brainscape begins to shut down, threatening to trap Dominic and Echo inside.

Cut to Williams office, where she’s telling Lennix that, guess what? No one leaves the Dollhouse, and the future is not for weak.

Dominic and Echo realize they’re going to have to eat the Japanese man’s legs to get out of his mind.

Ewwwwwww.

DOMINIC: Good times.

Ciccoli’s Afghan hallucination: he’s reliving a pretty well-filmed fight sequence, when he’s suddenly confronted by Arcane. But Echo and Dominic burst through a wall a moment later, and Arcane disappears.  Skip a head a few moments, and Ciccoli is definitely wearing a Marine Corps. uniform. He says the need to trap Arcane, and what better place to do that than Priya’s mind? So they do just that, and this is where it gets kinda convoluted.

Eventually they smash through a wall into Arcane’s nightmare, which looks a heck of a lot like the future from Epitaph One. So much so, they start playing the music from the episode. Arcane,  who is actually a British nebbish named Clyde (Adam Godley), looks sort of like a younger, dorkier Ian McCellan, tells the Scooby Gang that the people in the Attic are the mainframe. Oh, okay then. So running the brain at high levels of fear makes sense now, because you’re using it as a processor.

By the way, I typed that before Clyde actually said it, so props to me. It makes a great deal more sense than fear for fear’s sake.

Back at the DHPPHQNC, Lennix and Topher ruminate on how Williams is destroying everything fun.

In the dreamscape, the gang find a secure place and Clyde explains the origin of the Dollhouse. He and a friend made the technology, his friend betrayed him, and thus Clyde was the first in the Attic in 1993. His personal hell is running probability scenarios (I mean, that’s my idea of hell, too) of where the dollhouse technology leads humanity. In all but 3% of them, it leads to the end of the world. What to do?

Clyde tells them there was an infiltrator sometime ago, a girl whose sole purpose was to bring down the Dollhouse, who had seen all the key players and was capable of bringing the whole system crashing down. Her name? Caroline.

Dun. Dun. DUNNNNN.

Now they really have to get out of the Attic.

Outside, their hideout, a doll-zombie finds one of their dropped weapons, and starts shooting into their little bunker. Echo has a plan…and stands in the line of fire.

Cut to Topher’s lab. They reload Helo and he talks scrambled for a spell, before eventually rebooting. He comes to his senses slowly, and then goes for Topher’s throat. They tell him that Dollhouse tech was the only way to save him. Helo relieves Lennix of his revolver and storms into Williams office, where they commence with a Mexican stand-off. He says he’s ok with goin’ down as long as the Dollhouse goes with him, she says she doesn’t want to die.

HELO: Well then. One of us is going to be disappointed.

Inside the brain-scape, Echo’s genius plan is to die/disengage and basically do what we saw her do in the intro…only more successfully. You see, her probability scenario was to escape the attic (smart move, evil overlords), and she’s figured it out.  Ciccoli and Priya make with the “we’re a team now,” forcing Echo to get them out too. Dominic and Clyde are going to stay behind and attempt to undermine the mainframe by teaching people to face their fears.

Hey, worth a shot.

Echo gets them out for real this time.

Time Cut! Turns out, this was Williams’ plan all along, that she and Echo were all-together-now, and… uh, yeah. I think more of her plans should involve getting completely trashed and letting people bring down Rossum piece-meal, but that’s just me.

Roll Credits!

SUMMARY

• One more step towards the apocalypse.
• So Helo is a doll now. Interesting.
• The overall creppiness of this episode was well beyond any of the queasy teenage girl fetish of previous episodes.
• If Ciccoli was with the Rangers and in a Ranger unit, why in the hell was he wearing Marine Corps desert pattern instead of ACU grey?

We open the show with Olivia Williams attacking Victor (Enver Gjokaj) with British sexiness. She seriously says “I want to roger, Roger.” See? You can totally get naughty things past the FCC if you just use outdated slang.

Victor isn’t having any of it and tells her to stop. He tells her he’s in love with another with woman and she tries the “You’re not real,” bit and that he’s about released anyway as his 5 year term is up, and she just wanted to get a last romp in before he was gone. Ladies, some advice: when a guy doesn’t feel like putting out, “You’re not real,” isn’t going to get you any.

Victor doesn’t believe her, because his imprint thinks too highly of Williams to believe she would ever stoop to that level.

Back at the Dollhouse Puzzle Palace Headquarters Nerve Center^TM, Topher (Fran Kranz) explains to Harry J. Lennix that Helo (Tahmoh Penikett) has been scrubbed clean of his whole personality. He’s fine otherwise, but he’s a vegetable, stable as a zucchini.

Williams storms into Topher’s office with a  “WTF dude, I need to get laid,” and Topher’s at a loss.  He figures out that Williams is, in fact, Ms. Lonelyhearts and realizes he’s been making old-lady jokes about her this whole time. Awkward.

After that, Lennix informs Williams of Helo’s vegetative state, and she blames Echo (Eliza Dushku ) for the whole mess, which makes no real sense, but it’s been established Williams has crossed over to the dark side for good. She insists on keeping Echo away from Helo, because pain will reveal who Echo really is.

Topher is commenting how Victor came in with severe PTSD, which they cured (saying how this is one of the few mind jobs he feels “good” about) and commences to reload his old personality. In a rather sad moment, Victor (real name Anthony) asks if the war is still going on, and of course-it is.

Lennix processes Victor out, and we learn his full name is Anthony Ciccoli. His cover is that he was in a VA hospital. They let him out, but someone is watching.

Victor gets put up in a totally sweet hotel room, and just kinda bums around, occasionally checking the news about Afghanistan.

Echo and Sierra talk about Victor-now-Ciccoli, and how he’s not ready to be alone.

Clearly he is, because we find him in a dance club-a place where people actually pay money to feel more alone-with Lady Ga Ga’s Bad Romance blasting away. Who wants to bet she’s a doll in this universe? Ciccoli spies Sierra in the club, and saunters over, taps her on the shoulder, and asks if they’ve met before. Turns out to just be some random girl, and it looks like he’s using a line. They laugh at him and he looks mortified. He wanders back to his hotel and tries, but fails, to sleep alone. He takes his pillow into the bathtub and racks out there in a shot not un-reminiscent of the Dollhouse sleeping pods.

Hey, haven’t we all been there?

Echo is having trouble sleeping as well back at the DHPPHQNC, and goes to Helo’s room to find him not there. Remember that card Lennix gave her? Yeah, well it’s coming handy as she tears around the complex and into Williams office.

Williams is drinking her way to the Armageddon she had a hand in starting. She tells Echo that Helo is in a more secure location where they key-card doesn’t work and that he’s getting top notch care. She also expresses surprise at Topher’s ability to keep Echo’s secret longer than the time it takes for you to change a channel.

Williams pours another glass, neat, for Echo and invites her to chat. Echo, apropos of nothing really, says she has serial killer in her head. Williams points out that said serial killer is petrified of women, and Williams is beyond formidable even as she polishes the brass on the Titanic. Trying to sound all tough, Echo goes with the “I have 40 brains” thing, but Williams just looks bored, finally asking Echo if she’s so powerful, why is she still in the Dollhouse? Echo gives Williams an ultimatum: pick a side. Rossum’s or hers.

At Victor’s super swank place, a three-man team of Counter-Strike looking guys have just busted the lock. Victor, being a war veteran, has that combat-Spider-Sense and it is a-tinglin’.  He takes a pillow case and twists it into a rope, which he uses to choke one of the guys, grabbing his gun (FINALLY, someone who goes for the damn GUN). Then the bad guys start doing capoeira in full military fatigues, which isn’t smart, as you could sprain something! Ciccoli holds his own of course, because he was in some sort of special operations doo-dad (106th Special Operations Doo-Dad [airborne]) or something, but if they wanted him dead the just could have shot him. Eventually they bring him down and put a black bag over his head.

Ciccoli finds himself in a van, with some dude kicking him every now and again, even while holding a gun on him.  That’s called overkill.

Topher lets Lennix know that it’s all gone wrong Ciccoli, as his bio-signals flattened out last night. Lennix gets on the top the situation, as he is wont. He tells Echo he needs her help, and we cut to where Cioccoli was staying, with Echo in full Law & Order mode and Lennix being his usual self. They come to the obvious conclusion that this was an inside job, as Ciccoli was only out of the house a day, and who has the kind of knowledge to bypass their bio-tech?

The Goddamned 75^th Ranger Regiment, that’s who!

Cut to Ciccoli tied to a chair in a dark room, surrounded by his old army buddies. They’re going to make up for all those birthdays they missed. . . well, actually no. They’re going to give Ciccoli something new to fight for. . .

Back at the DHPPHQNZ, Lennix has determined someone has been hacking Rossum.

Meanwhile, the Rangers take Ciccoli and upload him with the Military Hive Mind program. Turns out they’re Rossum’s military contracting wing, and well, they’re a military unit with a hive mind-A.K.A. Completely Unstoppable^TM.

Lennix and Echo explain to the audience that the project is called Mind Whisper. For the record: this is probably the most candy-assed name for what is likely the most awesome fighting force ever. Lennix then tells Williams that Rossum is building an army, and she’s too hung over to care, wherein he turns on his heel and decides to take care of it his own way, which means loading Echo up with a whole Delta Force squad and watching the fireworks. I. Love. This. Man.

Topher finally lets his over-worked assistant in on what’s going on. They load Echo up and she says they need one more thing, Sierra loaded up with her original Priya personality. They drive to the Rossum Army’s bunker, break in, and thanks to quick editing they have the bags over their heads in no time. Before long, Echo makes short work of two members of the Borg Army.

They head around a corner and Echo starts beating on people, like she does. Priya gets nabbed by Ciccoli, who assures her that “Anthony is gone.” That (of course) turns out to not be true, and Ciccoli remembers his time as Victor after Echo points a gun at him and Priya bats her eyelashes at him. There was no tension in this scene whatsoever, which is kind of a bummer.

Echo asks Ciccoli how to get out, and then knocks him out so the collective won’t know what’s going on.

Williams is rudely awakened at her desk by the telephone ringing. There is a strand of drool on the side of her face, and she calls for her assistant-who obviously noticed that boss lady was down for the count and headed out to do some Christmas shopping. The Winston Churchhill method of leadership isn’t quite her style. It’s Harding on the phone and he tells Williams to get her ass in gear and get her dolls out of there.

Cut to the bunker, where Ciccoli is introducing himself to Priya in between three round bursts.

Meanwhile, Williams lets Lennix have a piece of her bourbon-soaked mind. Lennix lets Williams know she’s really not much compared to who she used to be and she needs to get it together.

In the Bunker, Dushku is getting ready to upload herself into the collective, while Ciccoli convinces one of his old buddies now with the Borg Army not to shoot him. Borg Buddy lowers his weapon, but the other Borg Army guys show up and dump a clip into him as Ciccoli runs down the hall. Echo beats up some more people and then jacks herself into the hive mind. So if you’re fighting someone and know what they’re going to do next, is it really a fight?

This weeks fight sequence is brought to by RangerJoes.com, the Matrix and Sarah Connor.

Echo destroys the troops’ neural net and gets the pair out of there.  She tells them to cut out their GPS strips and bounce, but the long-range disruptor interrupts all their plans. Queue the DHPPHQNZ, where Williams has Echo, Ciccoli and Priya wiped and put up in the attic. Naturally, this involves convulsing from being tortured, dressing the trio up in a white fetish mummy wrap, putting them in a big tray that they fill will some sort of goo,  wrapping them in saran wrap, and calling it a day.

SUMMARY

• I just realized the attic makes absolutely no sense. If they wipe the brain, why hang on to the body? Why not keep using the body since it’s been wiped?
• There narrative momentum in this show was odd. It takes a special kind of directoral shenanigans to make military stuff boring for me, but there it is. Well done!
• Why is Olivia Williams’ character incompetent now that she’s picked the wrong side? That makes no sense.
• You notice there weren’t a lot of quotes from this episode? Reason for that is no dialogue really jumped out-disappointing, really.
• This was supposed to be the big “Victor’s” backstory episode and…he’s got PTSD. Figured that out already, guys.

Somewhere in New Mexico, a man is mourning the fact that he loves a woman who never existed. He blew his whole fortune on her and now lives in a trailer.

Alpha, who up until now had been staying just outside of our line of sight, says “that’s very sad,” and slashes the man’s throat, getting strawberry jam all over the place.

Somewhere in the Dollhouse Puzzle Palace Head Quarters Nerve Center Fortress, Echo’s in a straight jacket having, a rough time. There’s a mysterious voice talking to her.

It’s Victor, imprinted with one those asshole doctors who is more about following orders than healing.

Just outside the room, Helo and Williams are arguing about weather or not Echo is special, and how is it she survived “on her own” for 3 months. Helo accuses Williams of punishing Echo for surviving, and that it’s lunacy. Williams says she needs answers, and decides to keep Echo in there longer, and leaves the room, with Lennix and Ballard in her icy wake.

Helo’s pissed at Lennix, accusing him of abandoning her in her time of need. Lennix replies that, essentially, it’s time to nut up AND shut up.

LENNIX: I don’t like seeing her in pain. I looked into her eyes and swore to protect her, same as you. Before you. Today, protecting her means not reacting while Dewitt tortures her.  So man up.

Dr. Victor says there’s nothing wrong with Echo, and chastises Dewitt for hating her so much. Dewitt thinks he’s an ass, so she leads him to the treatment room and has him wiped. She asks Topher what’s going on with Echo, physically. Topher says nothing’s wrong and has the scans to prove it.

Cut to him telling Helo and Lennix those same scans are balls out crazy, leading Helo and Lennix lay it down for him: Echo is the Super Doll.

In Williams’ office, Williams tells Helo it’s time to get Echo back out in the field; effectively calling out he and Lennix’s little conspiracy. Helo gets Echo out of the loony bin and brings her to Lennix and Topher.

TOPHER: So, she’s a serial killer?

LENNIX: Only a little.

Echo uses her new ability, calls up the personality for the engagement Williams set for her, and we’re off!

She shows up at her engagement’s house to find the client rotting, with his throat slit. She flips out; and then gets together realizing it was probably Alpha.

Back at the DHPPHQNCF, Williams is sure that Alpha was helping Echo those months while she was gone. Solid theory, really.

Helo and Lennix have a sit down and discuss the facts oh the case. Four people have been killed, all of whom Echo “loved”.  Three men. One woman.

In Topher’s Office, Sierra walks in dressed and talking like it’s the 1940’s and she’s in a film noir private detective story. I don’t mind saying: it’s really damn sexy. Her engagement was with. . . Alpha apparently.

Williams gets all cross, wondering if they’ve had any engagements this month Alpha didn’t set up, and orders a preemptive wipe of all the dolls in the house…just in case Alpha did something tricky.  Helo and Lennix hit the books and do research, as Alpha dropped the hint to Sierra that the next victim “ages well.” Lennix figures that’s a man who knows how to celebrate in style, and wouldn’t you know it? His birthday is coming up!

Helo and Lennix grab their Dollhouse S.W.A.T. team and head over to the client’s apartment. Nothing there…except for Alpha with the client strapped with plastic explosive. Alpha is dressed in a really nice suit, with a shirt that looks like he got it at a thrift store. Oh, well, fuck it, he’s Alpha.

ALPHA: (to BALLARD) But you. You don’t work for the federal government anymore. Why not just a splash of color?

Lennix and Helo try to negotiate, but it doesn’t work. Alpha is more stable than ever, but unfortunately still a Sociopath. He detonates his victim right after Helo and Lennix run for cover. It’s impressive, really. Pop goes the weasel.

Back in his office, Lennix is keeping tabs on the next potential victim. The last guy on the list is Mynor, a.k.a. Patton Oswalt. Helo finds him on a beach somewhere, and Mynor insists he is over his dead wife (Echo’s implanted personality during his engagement), and is getting married. This is probably true…until he sees Echo again, wearing wifey’s memories. They wrangle him back to the Dollhouse to keep him safe.

Williams extends a warm greeting to Mynor and has Topher give him the tour. She also lets Lennix and Helo know she’s unhappy about the unauthorized freeing of Echo, and tells them they’re on a short leash.

In Topher’s lab, Mynor asks who Alpha is and gets the long-short answer. He’s noticeably freaked out that he’s the target of a super human serial killer. Mynor starts to get nervous. Echo gets locked up in solitary as they speak.

Williams is in her office trying to find a nice hotel that accommodates large numbers of discreetly armed me. The toilet to her private bathroom flushes, and Alpha walks out.

ALPHA: Tally ho then! In fact, let’s say we tally your ho’s?

Alpha goes round and round with Williams, toying with her and assuring her that the Dollhouse can’t stop him. It’s shame he’s so focused on just the one, isn’t it? He could save the world. . .

Our dandy villain gets into the executive elevator, taking Williams with him. Lennix and Helo see it on the security feed and spring into action! Just as they area about to engage Alpha, he lets Williams go, and pulls out and uses a little doodad, turning all the wiped dolls into rabid zombie mooks. Nice.

A mass mook-on-mook fight sequence-brought to us by Forever 21, Brooks Brothers, and Axe Shower Gel- ensues, with Lennix and Helo stuck in the middle like Stealer’s Wheel. Williams blockades herself in a room, and some dolls plaster themselves against the door, clawing to get in. Victor wakes up and clocks Topher, Alpha enters and stares at Mynor with designs of fashion menace.

Chaos everywhere, as Helo dispatches a Doll that should be imprinted with some decent running back skills and rented to this season’s Redskins, then heads for Topher’s lab. Meanwhile, Echo breaks through the two-way mirror to her cell and bounces. Helo enters the wipe room where Alpha is keeping Mynor, and Alpha, well…

ALPHA: Bait, meet Switch.

Victor shoots Helo up with a sedative, and you know it’s something potent because Helo is a tower of absurd masculinity and he still goes down like a bag of wet mice.

ALPHA: One of my imprints was an Eagle Scout, the other was a sailor. There’s a dirty joke in there somewhere.

Alpha hooks Helo into the wipe chair, ranting that Echo loves Helo, and shows him the pictures to prove it,. Helo does his best Han Solo and says it’s lens flair.

Williams, still harried by the zombie dolls, finds a secret passage way. Echo kicks it open from the side and gives the “Come with me if you want to live” speech. They link up with Topher, Mynor and Lennix, who are holding their own against the doll horde. Together they run down the hall to the bed chamber, as it only has one entrance (a.k.a. a choke point).

Topher explains that Sierra had a virus that uploaded when she was wiped, and that virus was spread when they wiped all the dolls. Mynor then tells Echo that Alpha has Helo, and not in a snuggly way.

When we see them again, Alpha zaps Helo to brain death, never getting the answer he’s looking for (why Echo loves an ordinary like Helo, and not an ubermeanch like him), and decides he needs to upload Helo into himself, rather than try to download love.

The Scooby gang holes up in the bed chamber, and decides to grab a remote wipe device from the manufacturing room. What?!? After seeing how bad things can go wrong, no one’s carrying one with them everywhere they go?

TOPHER: Just gimme a second to put this together.

LENNIX: You have to put it together?!

TOPHER: It’s the manufacturing room, not the ‘it’s finished’ room!

Echo rolls up on Helo’s brain-dead husk, and Alpha wants to snuggle. She throws him down the hallway…because that’s what you do. This weeks’ second fight sequence is brought to you by Express for Men and Microsoft.

ECHO: He’s ten times the man you are, and you’re like 40 guys.

During the fight, Alpha asks Echo why Helo never laid a hand on her during their three month interlude, adding the jibe that many men have “come there before.” The subtitles spelled it “come”, and well-network censors can’t ban a basic part of speech for it’s 20^th meaning in the dictionary.

The fight rages until Echo tackles Alpha out a window and pounds him like dog meat at an Asian market. Alpha conjures Helo and tries to get her to kill him, knowing he can only keep the Alpha personality at bay for so long. She won’t do it, and he leaves in frustration.

The dynamic duo of Lennix and Topher wipe their way through two dolls before they find Echo with Helo’s head in her lap, quietly sobbing.

Alpha killed Helo? YOU BASTARD! NOOOOO!

*ahem*

Commercial Break.

The dollhouse is pulling itself back together, and Echo and Mynor have a moment when she conjures Mynor’s wife and asks about his new fiancee,

ECHO: You never told me about her. What’s her name?

She then helps him put their relationship in perspective, so he can move on and have a new life-one that’s with a real woman, and not a doll. It’s a wonderfully human and quite well acted moment. Afterwards, Echo heads over to the medical ward, where we see Helo’s on life support.

*WHEW*

She leans over and tells him that he lives on, for her.

SUMMARY:

• Why have the episodes been called “Part 1” and then the second is a different title “part 2” What the hell is that? Post-modernism?
• Alpha is more or less this show’s Joker with no Batman. His plans don’t actually need to make any real sense, and they just throw him in to advance the plot when convenient.
• This episode was exciting, but up until Helo got brain-killed, it felt like a stop-gap. I have absolutely no clue what’s going to happen next, and that’s kind of awesome.
• Alpha has become to my eyes, that special brand of asshole that doesn’t believe women who have sex are worth loving, but wants them badly anyway. I’m always fascinated by that arbitrary line between “desirable” and “slutty.”