To say that we love zombies is akin to saying water is wet or fire is hot. It’s no accident that our very first Cavalcade event was Zombies, or that we’re returning to them again at the upcoming Event 18 happening in just under 2 weeks. Zombies are the extra chunky gore-butter on our fleshy-french toast in the morning.

That said, we’re unbelievably jacked about the 2nd Annual Silver Spring Zombie Walk coming on October 24th. What is a Zombie Walk? Well, it is, quite simply, a bunch of people dressing up like zombies and going a-monstering through a town, in this case downtown Silver Spring. It’s a whirligig-o-wacky-fun, and an altogether fantastic way to spend an evening.

The plan thus far (from their website):

• 7:30-8:00 PM Meet at Quarry House
• 8:01 PM Drink beer, eat tots (and brains)
• 8:12 PM Start playing “Thriller” on the jukebox
• 9:00 PM Rally the undead
• 9:10 PM Leave Quarry House on proposed walk path
• 9:15 PM Begin attacking people on Ellsworth Drive
• 9:30 PM Sneak into McGinty’s for Zombie Shots
• 9:40 PM Arrive at AFI Silver Theatre
• 10:00 PM “Shaun of the Dead” begins at AFI
• 12:00 AM After Party at McGinty’s Public House

We just managed to make last year’s event, and had a blast. Pics from the event below:

We’ll definitely be talking more about this event in the coming weeks, so stay tuned!

It’s the middle of June during the Summer of ‘93. I’m 16 years old and instead of spending my vacation trying to pick up girls at the local pool or hanging out at the mall like any respectable teenage degenerate, I’m hunched over an easel in a studio classroom underneath the Corcoran Art Gallery. Sitting next to me is another kid of similar height and build, both of us in the 6-foot range, and neither weighing over 145 pounds.

His name is Kevin and we share a strange thing in common: We were born exactly one year apart. In the same hospital. You see, through a series of complications not important enough to mention, we were both forced to present our birth certificates to attend this particular class. It was then that we noticed we were both born on October 28th at 1:45 p.m. in George Washington Memorial Hospital. I in 1976, and he in ‘77. Using this and the fact that we were eerily similar as a springboard, we kick up a friendship, and it’s at this time he passes me a beat-up video tape with the words “Evil Dead 2” scrawled across the edge in ballpoint. Thus was my first exposure to the manic mind of Sam Raimi, and the reigning king of B Movies: Bruce Campbell.

The tale is a fairly simple one. Ash (Campbell) and his girlfriend Linda take a romantic vacation to a seemingly abandoned cabin in the woods, and before you can say “Klatu Verata Nictu”, Ash plays a found tape reciting passages from the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, the Book of the Dead-unleashing an evil force which soon takes possession of Linda. Romantic getaway effectively over, Ash is forced to kill, dismember, and bury her. But it ain’t over, because something in the woods remains and continues to terrorize Ash.

In other words: It’s a haunted house/woods movie. Only one with zombies, demons, and the Three Stooges thrown in the mix. A hyper-kinetic picture that effectively scares as much as it sparks laughter. A film that became such a success that it lead to a wide release sequel, Army of Darkness-which abandoned most of the horror in favor of Action/Adventure and is a cult-classic in its own right. But we’re not here to talk about the giddy glee that Evil Dead II inspires. No, we’re here to talk about the Chainsaw.

Name: Chainsaw Arm

Size: 860 x 240 x 270mm

Special Abilities: Disembowling and Decapitating Demons, Run for weeks on a single tank.

Notes: A must for the working demon hunter on the go, this do-it-yourself bionic attachment comes in a variety of colors and styles, sure to fit every every occasion!

Roughly a third of the way through the picture, the evil pursuing Ash gets into his hand and it goes “bad”, trying repeatedly to kill him in one of the more memorable scenes of the picture. So Ash does the only sensible thing: he cuts it off with the Chainsaw. Then much later in the picture, when he decides he’s had just about enough of these Evil Dead causing trouble, he devises a mount that attaches to his wrist, enabling him to attach the chainsaw…thus creating one of the most famous monster fighting weapons in movie history, and cementing this flick’s place in our list.

Sure, you could argue that in the follow-up, Army of Darkness, we got the Chainsaw arm, Boomstick Kata, Plate Mail Fist, and the Death-moldsmobile. We certainly did. But nothing beats the first appearance of the chainsaw arm, so we’re going with the one, the only, Evil Dead II.

Groovy.

The Setup

The moon rides high on a cool, dark night. As the darkness is bathed in its pale light, it still can’t quench the knowledge that something is coming. The time has come once again, fair city, where there is movement in the darkness of the alleyways. The time has come once again, wary travelers, where the unknowable is stalking behind you. The time has come again, ladies and gentlemen, where we greet the festival of Samhain. And as the mists creep in across the ground, we will gather once again, faithful viewers, to experience the lowest-grade clash of horror and humor we can find, while mixing it with concoctions both alcoholic and shamanistic. For the night of All Hallows Eve has come once again to the land of the Cavalcade of Schlock.

For those not aware of how we roll for October: We consider this to be an “open month”. No theme for the movies, other than having horror elements, and the only theme for the food is “Halloween”. This allows us to throw in movies that we may have missed on other months, or that we wouldn’t normally build a whole event around.

The Formula

The open nature of the month makes it difficult to pull together a formula, but as all of tonight’s selections are in the Horror/Comedy genres, they do have a few things in common.

• Rural Environs: Small towns and countrysides are festering cesspools of weird shit. You ever hear of an alien anal-probing a person on 120th and Broadway in New York? Nope, because alien slug zombies like to keep it organic and farm-fresh.
• References to other movies: Horror/Comedies tend to have a wink-wink-nudge-nudge relationship with the audience. In the better ones, the references will be subtle, such as naming characters after famous horror directors or having a poster on the wall. In the more pathetic attempts, a character will go “This is just like in that horror movie X!”

The Menu

Sticking with the relaxed and open nature of the month, the food will be a grab-n-growl of Halloween candy and snacks. More so than any other month, we’re going for a full-on pot luck idea. So bring whatever tickles yer fancy!

But… Don’t think we’re leaving you hanging on the booze:

The Booze: Sam Adams Octoberfest, Bloody Eyeball Martini

Yeah, the Martini’s going to take some prep, but take our word for it: The results are worth it!

The Movies

Dead and Breakfast (2004): Horror, Comedy, Musical? That’s right boys and girls! We figured it’s been far too long since we’ve had dancing zombies (not since the first ever Cavalcade with Return of the Living Dead).

Night of the Creeps (1986): Alien slugs infect prom dates, turning them into flesh-craving zombies in this horror/comedy mash-up.

If we can’t get Night of the Creeps (we’re working on it), then we’ll go with:

Slither (2006): Stop us if this sounds familiar-Alien slugs infect a small town, turning them into flesh-craving zombies in this horror/comedy mash-up. Yes, it’s heavily inspired by Night of the Creeps, yes it admits it out the gate, and yes-it’s awesome. Nathan Fillion, Michael Rooker, and Elizabeth Banks star in one of the best movies nobody’s ever seen.

Suggested Alternatives

Again, it’s an open month, choose what you will! We focused on fast-paced horror/comedies this year, so other choices could be:

Tremors (1990): The sandworms from Dune strike a small town in the middle of the desert, eating people and otherwise causing all sorts of mayhem.

Critters (1986): Imagine the tribbles from Star Trek…with sharp pointy teeth.

Night of the Comet (1984): It’s the end of the world, and the last survivors of the human race? Two girls from the Valley.

For details about the event, check out it’s page on Facebook!